How Do You Negotiate In Intimate Relationships?
Is it manipulative, at all costs you will get what you want? It is your way or the highway?
Is it bargaining? It’s a Monday morning, an old friend confirms they are in town for one night on Friday night, and you have to see them! You have not seen them in a very long time and need to catch up!
But there is no one to look after the kids while you catch up with your friend! Your partner has been busy the whole month working on board exams which are two weeks away, you know every hour counts for him! This is something he has been working really hard to get through.
And if he gets through your family financial life will change dramatically! Boy you cannot wait for this change only God knows how you have survived thus far. You need a miracle to meet your monthly financial needs!
Do you negotiate as equals? Compromise and find a cousin to look after the kids while you out?
Or do you throw a tantrum and he must make a plan for once? Oh you wish you could get a baby sitter just for a few hours, you need this session badly! You have been holding the family together for too long, while he has been busy, you think!
Funds have been tight for a while , getting a babysitter is a luxury you both know you cant afford! The kids are just too young to even think of living alone in the house, not that you haven’t entertained that thought 🙂
Your support system is 2 hours away, you either have to convince your baby sister to come visit for the night and pay for her train ticket to come through or your cousin who does not have children but is always happy on WINE every Friday night, a compromise for her would be to look after the kids but you must buy her 4 bottles of her favourite wine!
Which you secretly hope she will not polish off while “looking after your children” but then again, you will make sure to dish up for the kids before you leave and she just has to feed them right! That cannot be too difficult even in your drunken status!
So cousin confirms she will come through on Friday after work but you must have her bottles in the fridge cold so she can enjoy the night looking after your brats she calls them!
You cross your fingers that she actually rocks up at the agreed time of 17:30 looking a bit sober, but she cannot harm the kids, you have set the table already all she has to do is microwave the food and the kids eat.
When the door bell rings and she is at the door, you think, there is still hope out there! God Loves all of us while you quickly show her where all the food is and her beloved wine!
You quickly grab your bag and run out! You don’t want her to change her mind! This is not how life should be, you want to have more freedom to spend time with your children as well as go out with your friends when you want right!