Are there people you grew up with who always seemed much better than you in every way and at all times.
This question haunted me for a very long time in my childhood! Everyone around me seemed like they had everything perfect in their life and I had nothing.
I was being raised by a single mom and they had both parents, they would talk about their mom and dad and I could only talk about my mom!
They seemed to have all the toys they wanted and I barely had a barbie doll.
My mom seemed much stricter than their parents, they were allowed to play in the streets until after dark, when I had to be in the house and bathed by the time the street lights came on! This was traumatic I thought.
I would hear them play in the streets way after dark and watch them behind the curtains and wish I could be like them! Just for one day. Oh even on rainy days they were allowed to play in the rain and for me it was just never entertained! You will catch a cold if you play in the rain, I was told!
Their house always seemed to have a constant stream of very interesting visitors, which was nver the case at my house. Sometimes I would be able to play with the visitors and sometimes mom would quickly call me to come back home, I always wondered why!
Sundays for us was strictly church every sunday without fail and besides Sunday school was the best with my church friends and i would have lots of fun. But my friend back home was never forced to go to church her parents didn’t go at all in fact!
When schools closed they would go away on holiday, camping or out of the country with their parents and and it all sounded very exotic and interesting.
My holidays consisted of visiting my grandmothers house in the village or my cousins not far from my house or they would come over!
It was never anything that exciting I thought! But looking back now, we still very close relationships with the cousins as grew up together, so i guess it was good! We were always encouraged to play together rather than fetch friends from outside! i remember getting into trouble because we broke a neighbors window with a tennis ball!
School and University
My routine after school was, eat, clean the dishes and do my homework, then I was allowed to go out and play, by comparison these were fewer hours spent playing compared to them.
I never could quite skip any of my chores and homework as it was checked every night! And boy oh boy you did not want to be caught slacking on any of them, the consequences were bad!
And she would thoroughly check my homework with a belt in her hand! Oh I hated maths I would always get it wrong 🙂
Was this character building for a child? I still don’t know!
Fast forward to University even though I stayed at school, kept my head down in the books while my friends continued to party away. Life was just not fair! I figured this was the only way out of my mom’s house 🙂
My friends were more popular with the boys and being invited to all the parties that I never cracked an invite for! They were the hot girls on campus! Everyone wanted to be friends with them.
In first year would always share my notes with her before exams and tests that was just the norm of our relationship! But came second year, our subjects changed as she had to carry over some subjects from first year!
By the time I finished my undergrad, she had changed courses twice and her parents allowed her because she said she did not enjoy the commerce undergrad she had taken initially.
But she had a car and an apartment so her life was much easier, she could get to campus easily and stay at the library as long as she wanted!
Few years later I was in the 9-5 rat race and they were still struggling to get through University and I had started my own business! Decided it was best to run my own race!
I actually came to the conclusion that in life some people will have to work harder than others in order to fulfill your dreams. For me I was studying hard just to afford a car. I rented an apartment for year before I could afford to buy one!
The conclusion i for was that i was hungry to get out of my strict upbringing, that’s why working hard was the only was out!